This is the Metaphysics of a Level 1 Love Relationship.
You have to remember one thing about Metaphysics; it deals only with facts and those facts are all established by God, not by the ego on Level 1. All of these facts can be found in the Metaphysics of A Course in Miracles.
So what is the entire love search all about? On Level 2, the thought and the ideas about love and what it means to love someone, is completely different to the thought and the ideas of love on Level 1, and what it means to love someone on Level 1.
Why? Because the reason almost every relationships breaks down is because trust is broken, and once trust is broken it is very rarely mended. But trust is not the problem, it is really all about honesty. If there is no honesty, there can be no trust. So, why then is there no honesty in relationships?
You have to realise that not maybe, but factual, one or both people in the relationship are hiding a few facts about themselves. In fact everyone on Level 1 is playing the same game and in this game there is only one winner, the ego.
There is no more powerful place for the ego to dine and suck every ounce of energy from you… than in the special love relationship. It is the drama that the ego is really after, the more drama in the relationship, the more energy for the ego in the relationship!
In A Course in Miracles, there is over 12 Chapters on this very topic…so let me give you a Metaphysical overview of all 12 chapters right here, right now. I am going to use as an example, an email I received some time ago to explain the Metaphysics of the special relationship. I have changed the names of the person who wrote to me asking for help, and also any personal details….
Let’s say the two people in this story are Mary and John, and they are meeting for the first time on a date. Mary has asked me to supply her with some Metaphysical facts about her next love encounter and how she should approach this person.
You see Mary has been hurt many, many times in the past, and has now taken on the Responsibility to find the facts about what love really means before she makes a decision whether she will go out with him or not. So, now I respond to Mary…
The first thing you should know is this. The person you are going to meet, (in Metaphysical terms), is just half a person. There is exactly 50% of John that you will not see on this date, but it will surface later if you decide to go out with him. That 50% is his Shadow. That means in Metaphysical terms, there is now only 50% of John remaining. Yes? No!
Not exactly, you see in the remaining 50% of John, not all of that is John either. The false image of John, in his persona has a big slice of the cake also. How much of that cake I am not sure, but I can hazard you a good guess based on my student program.
Let’s say a student takes up my student program and begins the level 1 Classes, well that person will be anything from around 25% to 50% of the persona. A normal person who is completely spiritually asleep, well that person could be anything from just 7% up to around 15%, and that is very generous.
So, what does that mean for Mary & John in Metaphysical terms. It means this, for Mary, that when she sits down with John, there is going to be around 85% of John, missing.
And, when I say missing, John will feel completely whole, he will not be aware that he is mostly illusion. And, when I say illusion, I mean persona and shadow ego. He will not have a clue who his personality is, that is long gone!
So in percentage terms and in Metaphysical terms, Mary, you are about to have an affair with the ego and you will think it is with a very nice man who is honest, sincere and trustworthy. He could sweep you off your feet, and both of you could be in bliss for months, but this is still not love, this is a drug called specialness.
John will do everything he can to make you feel special and he will do this so that he will get all his demands, expectations, needs and desires met. And when you fail to meet any or all of them, he will project all his shit onto you.
This is not true love, this is special love, and when the specialness goes, all you will be left with is, “a dead relationship.” And the ego just loves dead relationships also, it will feed of them for life!
So, Mary you see anything John says to you just simply cannot be truthful of honest. Because to be honest, you have to know yourself completely, and I mean 100%. You see, John is only John, around 7% at worst, and 15% at best, and almost 90% ego. That t means in Metaphysical terms, John will be deceiving and lying to you 9 times out of every ten.
Because John is deceiving and lying to himself. And, what we do to ourselves, we do to others, and vice versa. But I am afraid Mary, the bad news story does not end there! You see, you both are seeking for love, and so that means that you both have activated the ego thought system, and now cause and effect will take place. This means that you will be a victim, of what you seek for. There is no exception to this Metaphysical fact.
So, here is how it works…The thought is love and the idea is that you are seeking for love. Next comes the story and that story has now manifested as the love story of Mary & John.
Before you take the next step and agree to date John, you should know the following Metaphysical facts about John, however, John will be unaware of any of these.
John will have expectations; John will have demands; John will have needs, and finally John will have many desires. So it will go something like this…
John will be happy in the relationship if you meet all his demands, needs, expectations, and desires. However, when you fail to do this, even once, when you fail to meet either his demands, expectations, needs or desires, he will project with viciousness, the other 50% of him that was missing onto you, and that other half is called the shadow.
This is a metaphysical fact in all special relationships. However, Mary, you should also know that the above facts also applies to you. You will be happy with John, as long as he meets your needs, expectations, demands, and desires. And, if he forgets this, even once, you will mark it and then you will end up projecting the other half of you, that you are unaware off, your shadow onto him.
There is not a single person in a body that does not contain a shadow…while they are on Level 1. This is a Metaphysical fact and this applies to every single special relationship on the planet.
So, this might seem all doom and gloom Mary and I know what your next question is going to be, so I will save you the time and ask it for you. ‘So, after knowing all of these Metaphysical facts you are thinking, “what is the point of being in a relationship?”
Here is the point and the sooner that people realise what the true purpose of the special relationship on Level 1 is truly for, the sooner people will stop hurting themselves in love relationships. Mary, you can use the relationship for the ego, and feed the ego every day with all the drama that will come about. If this is your choice and if this is what you are really doing Metaphysically.
This means that:
You want your demands met, you will be a victim of that!
You want your expectations fulfilled. You will be a victim of that!
You want your needs met. You will also be a victim of that!
You want your desire fulfilled. And, finally you will be a victim of that also.
And, when you do not get any or all of the above, you will project all your shit onto John. And, John will do the same with you. The whole game is set up to fail, so that now one person projects their guilt onto the other. If you look at my diagram on Genesis, you will see that the thought, idea, story and drama all being played out…
Guilt is the real thought; not love. Because when you seek for love and become a victim of it, you get to project all your shit on the other person.
So, in the Course, Jesus says, that the special love covers up the true purpose of the special relationship. He says, that is was never about love in the first place, it was always about you getting rid of your guilt. And the same for the other person!
The only winner here with this choice is the ego. Because sooner or later in this relationship you will feel alone, you will feel unsupported, you will feel disconnected. You will feel empty, and rejected. And then what will you do; find another and do the same all over again, hoping to be lucky next time.
The Course tells us very clearly, “There are no accidents, those who are meant to meet will meet”. This means that no one has to seek for love, because they will be a victim of it if they do. If you purify yourself on Level 1, you will get to Level 2, and on Level 2, Love will find you! And that is the true purpose of all special relationships…
You can use the relationship for its true purpose…. reflecting back to you exactly what you want to see…. your shadow, and healing it once and for all. The other person will always show you your shadow, sooner or later.
You can also turn this relationship from a level 1 conditional relationship into a level 2 unconditional relationship. There is lots of potential for healing in this type of relationship as long as it is not abusive! Now, this does not mean that you stay in an abusive relationship, by no means. If you are in an abusive relationship, get out right now!!
No, I am talking about using a normal run of the mill relationship, that maybe you are using for companionship & friendship. You can use this type of relationship for healing, as long as it is not abusive.
You can also use this type of relationship to get to level 2, then once there, you will be free, and then you can decide to remain in the relationship, or go either way; you will see the truth of the relationship for yourself. It does not matter if you are seeking for love or are currently in a relationship. All relationships have the potential to become “True Love” relationships.
To have a “True Love” relationship, at least one of the two people involved, must be on Level 2, or above. The point here is this: you can use the relationship; any relationship; for the ego, or for Love. “You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice!”